Forest Clearing\n\nThe forest is a bit sparse near the path here.\nYou can [[dig]] for burried treasure or continue following the [[path|clearing]] west.
You miraculously dive out of the way of the flaming school buses, one after another.\nYou then use your awesome Sippy Cup +1 which turns you invisible and use the power to pass past the giant.\nCongratulations!\n\nEND OF GAME!\n\n<html><img src="http://www.shipwreckgamestudio.com/matt/game/desk_adventure_ii/achievement.jpg" /></html>
You find some dirt, actually you find nothing!\nContinue down the path to the [[clearing]].
Sudden Forest\n\nAll of a sudden, you're in a forest!\n\n[[Follow|Follow West]] the path to the west?
You jump up really high like some sort of Superperson type person and avoid certain schoolbus death and doom.\nYou then decide that the sky's the limit and say "what the crap, why not" and drink from your jewely Sippy Cup, activating the awesome jewel-encrusted powers bestowed upon you your lips, turning you all giant, and huger than Dude Mc Huge allowing you to crush him with your thumb.\nHuzzah!\n\nEND OF GAME!\n\n<html><img src="http://www.shipwreckgamestudio.com/matt/game/desk_adventure_ii/achievement.jpg" /></html>
The Cave of Ill-Begotten Family Members\n\nYou walk into a dank cave. There is little light, but you notice a glowing near the back of the cave. Further investigation rewards you with a Key! On the key the following words are written: Trollhugger\n\n* [[Exit cave]]
Ninja\n\nWhile King Arthur and his knights are taunted away you sneak up and over the wall.\n\n* [[Climb the ramparts]]
Luck Run Out\n\nUnfortunately as Luck and friends escaped you were eaten by the Dianoga. At least you aren't being digested for years by the Sarluck.\n\n[[Continue?|Moors]]
You see a Cliff and a Shiny Object\n\n* [[Cliff]]\n* [[Shiny Object]]
Ooooo shiny\n\nThe shiny object turns out to be a landmine. Think it's from the Korean War. Thought Princess Diana got rid of these things. Oh well, doesn't matter to you now that you're in pieces. \n\n[[Use Up an Extra Life and Go Back|Shiny Object]]
* [[Woods]]
Oh dear...\n\nYou gently lift the shiny object to discover that what you thought was maybe a bit of treasure is really a land mine. Better huck it away before it goes off!!\n\n* [[Huck it!]]\n* [[Hug it!]]
* [[Down]]\n* [[Norther]]\n* [[Up]]
You are on a split path. In one direction, you see a cave and in another, a field.\n\n* [[Cave]]\n* [[Field]]
You jump up really high like some sort of Superperson type person and avoid certain schoolbus death and doom.\nYou then activate the awesome cloaklike powers bestowed upon you and emblazoned on your back, allowing you to escape the giant and progress onward.\nHuzzah!\n\nEND OF GAME!\n\n<html><img src="http://www.shipwreckgamestudio.com/matt/game/desk_adventure_ii/achievement.jpg" /></html>
Moat it!\n\nYou picked the craftier, but dirtier way of making it into this castle. You slide down the muddy bank into waist deep water. Proceed on you strange knight.\n\n* [[Slither along]]
Fin\n\nUnfortunately running with one arm is rather difficult. The bear catches up to you and takes off the other arm and both your legs. Now you look like the black knight from The Holy Grail. \n\nFin\n\n<html><img src="http://www.shipwreckgamestudio.com/matt/game/desk_adventure_ii/achievement.jpg" /></html>
Crossroads\n\nYou find yourself at a crossroads. One road paved and winding leads to the prarie of the west, a stretch of blacktop leads East deep into the Dark Forrest of Arbivorous Beings, and a giant bridge leads across a cavern to the North. \n\n* [[Bridge]]\n* [[Forrest]]\n* [[Lane]]
You die like a \n\n<html><iframe width="420" height="315"\nsrc="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PJQVlVHsFF8">\n</iframe><br/></html>\n\nnoobcake.
Small Lake\nYou're near a small lake.\n\nYou can [[fish]] for fishes, [[swim]] for swimming purposes, or [[camp]] to set up camp for the night.
You miraculously dive out of the way of the flaming school buses, one after another.\nYou then use your Emblazoned Cloak of the Hamster to sneak up on the giant, get behind him, and snap all 3 of his necks.\nCongratulations!\n\nEND OF GAME!\n\n<html><img src="http://www.shipwreckgamestudio.com/matt/game/desk_adventure_ii/achievement.jpg" /></html>
GalDarnit!\n\nYour tail tripped you up and you land right in the claws/beak/grasp of the Chimera. Tough luck chum.\n\n[[Star Over Because You Are So Dead|Start]]
Damn\n\n<html><img src="http://www.shipwreckgamestudio.com/matt/game/desk_adventure_ii/damn.jpg" /></html>\n\n* [[RUN]]
You duck your way past the oncomming flaming death. You then throw caution to the wind and charge the ogre who looks suprised. You stab his kneecaps off with your Flaming Cheetoh Sword, and then bleed him out while he screams for mercy, but you know better.\nGood job, you horrible person!\n\nEND OF GAME!\n\n<html><img src="http://www.shipwreckgamestudio.com/matt/game/desk_adventure_ii/achievement.jpg" /></html>
You set up a fire and pitch a tent.\nSoon night falls and you begin to fall asleep.\nYou hear noises coming from outside your tent!\nIt's the dreaded [[Piranhaconda!]]
Swinging Axes\n\nHoly crap, dude, the pig guy comes at you with a huge axe!\nYou grab an axe you found on the ground and swing it back at him.\nHis armor was weak at a point you found near his belly and you make him into bacon.\nGrats.\n\nYou WIN!...\nPrize: Jewel-encrusted Sippy Cup +1\n\n* [[Round 2|Round 2 Axes]]
The Result - Jousting\n\nYou get up on a hairy war boar as does the pig-knight.\nYou both raise your lances and giddy up!\nAs you approach, you bravely thrust your lance into the pig guy!\nHe squals in agony and grossness! \n\nYou WIN!...\nPrize: Emblazoned Cloak of the Hamster\n\n* [[Round 2]]
Castle Yonder\n\nIn the wild moors you come across an olde castle with a moat and draw bridge. It looks spooky, but as it's starting to rain and they might have ale you head that way to see if anyone is home.\n\n* [[Castle]]\n* [[Moat]]
Piranhaconda Attack!\nWhat will you do?!\n[[Attack]] to fight the Piranhaconda\n[[Run|Pconda Run]] to run away from the monstrosity.
<html>\n<img src="dianoga.gif" /><br />\n</html>\n\n<html><!--<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mt5vwkh00zI">Oh Snap!</a>--></html>\n\n* [[Will You Continue]]
Desk Adventure 2.1 - The Hassling
You find a whopping 10 lb shoe!\nIt's getting dark. Set up [[camp]]?
The Fall\n\nSeems there was a drop beyond the grates and you've just begun to fall. For hours you fall and fall and fall. You consider pulling out a book as this doesn't seem to have an end when your fall is broken by many boxes and other useless soft things.\n\n* [[Ground Floor]]
This cliff looks a bit steep. I mean you could step off the edge, but why waste a perfectly lovely day with death? You turn back.
You forgot to take off your clothes. Now you're soaking wet.\nIt's getting pretty dark, and you're all wet, you doofus. Best set up [[camp]] now.
Thar be a well!\n\nThis is a rather nice lane. All tree lined and friendly. Hey look. Up ahead. It's a well. You're rather partched so you stop for a drink.\n\n* [[Well]]
Dude really?\n\nDo I really need to tell you what happens when you hug a landmine...\n\n\nFin
You are approached by an ogre with 3 heads and 6 arms all the size of school buses.\nIn fact, he is carrying flaming school busses in each hand and throws them at you.\nWhat do you do?!\n\n* [[Dive|Dive Axes]]\n* [[Duck|Duck Axes]]\n* [[Jump|Jump Axes]]
You jump up really high like some sort of Superperson type person and avoid certain schoolbus death and doom.\nYou then decide that the sky's the limit and say "what the crap, why not" swinging back and forth Tarzan-style, hurtling yourself toward the mofo, jumping with your Flaming Cheetoh sword out downward stabbing his heads clean off through the air. Striking a landing pose of awesomenes for the camera while blood gushes from his necks like a geyser of wrongness.\nHuzzah!\n\nEND OF GAME!\n\n<html><img src="http://www.shipwreckgamestudio.com/matt/game/desk_adventure_ii/achievement.jpg" /></html>
Drink\n\nYou reach for the rope and drag up a bucket of crystal clear water. Being rather thirsty and reckless you drink your fill...\n\n* [[Drinkity|Start]]
UP UP AND AWAY!!\n\n<html>\n<img src="./oops.jpg" /> <br/>\n</html>\n\nDude, you can't fly...
Round 2 Intro\n\nYou are approached by an ogre with 3 heads and 6 arms all the size of school buses.\nIn fact, he is carrying flaming school busses in each hand and throws them at you.\nWhat do you do?!\n\n* [[Dive]]\n* [[Duck]]\n* [[Jump]]
You find a sword!\nYou can [[dig again]] or continue down the path to a [[clearing]].
You are approached by an ogre with 3 heads and 6 arms all the size of school buses.\nIn fact, he is carrying flaming school busses in each hand and throws them at you.\nWhat do you do?!\n\n* [[Dive|Dive Mud Pit]]\n* [[Duck|Duck Mud Pit]]\n* [[Jump|Jump Mud Pit]]
The Mud Pit of DOOOOOOOM!\n\nEew, gross. This was probably the worst choice. Why did you have to do this one?\nI mean, he's a pig. And you chose basically to mud wrastle.\nOh well, whatever. Get on with it.\nYou grapple with all your many mud-wrestling might and defeat your foe!\n\nYou WIN!...\nPrize: Flaming Cheetoh Sword\n\n* [[Round 2|Round 2 Mud Pit]]
* [[Pick it up!]]\n* [[Step on it!]]
You are in a moorish moor.\n\n* [[Moors]]
<html><!--<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V7zbWNznbs">Welcome</a>--></html>\n\n<html><iframe width="420" height="315"\nsrc="https://www.youtube.com/embed/9V7zbWNznbs">\n</iframe></html>\n\n* [[Onward]]
You miraculously dive out of the way of the flaming school buses, one after another.\nYou then use your awesome Flaming Cheetoh Sword to stab the jerk in the faces.\nCongratulations!\n\nEND OF GAME!\n\n<html><img src="http://www.shipwreckgamestudio.com/matt/game/desk_adventure_ii/achievement.jpg" /></html>
You've overheard stories from frail, old men in maroon robes who try tell you something about going alone being dangerous, and taking some weird pointy object from them. \n\nIn your generic, adventurer-type starter town there are whispering of newbie adventurers that never came back from this adventure. Creepy, eh?\n\n<<back>>
You duck your way past the oncomming flaming death and then throw caution to the wind and take a swig from your Jewel-encrusted Sippy Cup +1. You feel a strange tingling and then notice that you're all invisamable. You then sneak up behind his dumb faces and stab him in the back repeatedly with a handly nearbly shivving object.\nGood job, you horrible person!\n\nEND OF GAME!\n\n<html><img src="http://www.shipwreckgamestudio.com/matt/game/desk_adventure_ii/achievement.jpg" /></html>
Dude, I don't know about this\n\nThis bridge looks kind of rickety...\n\nLike Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom rickety.\n\nDude, you sure about this??\n\n* [[Go on again]]
Tailing it\n\nThe badly drawn Chimera is right on your tail....\n\n\nYa, that's right. You have a tail.\n\n* [[RUN FASTER]]
Round 1\n\nAlluvvasuddin you're in a mideval-style castle thing.\nYou're approached by a giant, hairy man-pig beast-thing. He's smelly and wearing armor that doesn't fit his beer belly very well. \nHe challenges you to a duel most foul!\nYou must pick one of the three challenges.\nWhich...one...will... you... CHOOSE?!?!?\n\n* [[Jousting]]\n* [[Swingin' Axes]]\n* [[The Mud Pit of DOOOOOOOOOM!!]]
The Adventure Begins!\n\nToday you will begin the grandest adventure of your life. Many people have fought and [[died]] on such an adventure....how will you fare?\n\n* [[East]]\n* [[North]]\n* [[West]]\n
Oh noes...\nUnfortuantely you gripped it a bit tight right before you hucked it away. You are now missing your hucking arm.\n\n* [[Go on]]
You kill the beast like a \n<html><br/><img src="./hoff_fighter_iv.jpg" alt="noobcake" /><br/></html>\nboss!\n<html><br/><img src="http://www.shipwreckgamestudio.com/matt/game/desk_adventure_ii/achievement.jpg" /></html>
Dig Deep\n\nYou don't have a shovel and you can't dig to China with your hands so this option is a no go. What were you thinking?!
Dead End\n\nI tried to semi-warn you. I told you this thing was iffy!\n\nYou fall to your doom.\n\nHope you had a life token...
As you walk through the leafy underbrush of a grand forrest you hear a rustling behind you.\n\nWhen you turn around you must duck quickly to avoid the angry freaking bear trying to tear your head off. Better run for it!\n\n* [[Run]]
Break In\n\nAs you wade through the muck and weeds you come upon a grate near a corner of the castle. With your great strength (or maybe the bars are made of hollow alluminum) you push your way through into the dark...\n\n* [[Move along]]
You duck your way past the oncomming flaming death and use your Emblazoned Cloak of the Hamster to sneak your way past the oblovious giant. You then sneak up behind his dumb faces and stab him in the back repeatedly with a handly nearbly shivving object.\nGood job, you horrible person!\n\nEND OF GAME!\n\n<html><img src="http://www.shipwreckgamestudio.com/matt/game/desk_adventure_ii/achievement.jpg" /></html>
original by Anne O'Malley & Eric Hanke\nadapted to Twine by Matt Antonellis\nTwine by Chris Klimas (twinery.org)
READ THIS SIGN:\nYou have entered the lair of the Chimera. Don't worry though, it's in hibernation this time of year.\n\n* [[Walk On]]