Legends of Awesomeness — 6 of 11

Section 2 - Items

[rusty sword]

The rusty sword is a thing.

The description of the rusty sword is "A really old sword that's been handed down through the past generations of your family. Rusty but trusty!".

The player holds the rusty sword.

[corpse]

The corpse is a thing with printed name "swamp monster (corpse)".

Instead of attacking the swamp monster:

If the player carries the rusty sword:

say "You thrust your mighty sword into the swamp monster's face.";

remove the swamp monster from play.;

now the corpse is in the Forest of Awesome.;

now the jewel is in the Forest of Awesome.;

otherwise:

say "No way bro. You don't even have a rusty sword-like object on your person.";

[magic sword]

The magic sword is a thing.

The description of the magic sword is "A badass magical sword, bro. It's all glowing and stuff, with righteousness and might.".

Instead of attacking Dingus for the first time:

if the player carries the magic sword:

say "You run towards Dingus with sword in hand, and with a mighty leap and a swing of your steel, you cleave his stupid face in twain. Righteous, brah.";

now the Helm of Awesome +5 is in Mount Badass.;

otherwise:

say "As Dingus sees you approach, he flicks his wrist and hurls a fireball in your general direction. You jump back and barely avoid being burnt to a crisp. 'Try that again, dude, and you'll be toast,' Dingus yawns, 'Hmm, I'm kind of hungry now- you got any butter, brah?'";

Instead of attacking Dingus:

if the player carries the magic sword:

say "You run towards Dingus with sword in hand, and with a mighty leap and a swing of your steel, you cleave his stupid face in twain. Righteous, brah.";

now the Helm of Awesome +5 is in Mount Badass.;

otherwise:

say "You get a fireball to the face and eat it. Well, not literally, but you do get singed and just barely jump out of the way.";

[jewel]

The jewel is a thing. The jewel can be dirty or clean. The jewel is dirty.

The description of the jewel is "Encrusted in some left-over entrails and dirt, it looks pretty shiny underneath, but you wouldn't know what to do with it. Maybe you should ask someone.";

Instead of giving the jewel to Rhokkin:

if the player carries the jewel:

if the jewel is dirty:

say "Where did you find this? This was the jewel of our patron goddess until Dingus stole it from us. I will give it to you as a reward for your awesomeness. Here. Let me bless it with the prayer of radness.";

now the jewel is clean.;

otherwise:

say "You already gave the jewel to me, doofus.";

otherwise:

say "What jewel?";

Instead of giving the jewel to Tarf:

if the player carries the jewel:

if the jewel is clean:

say "Schweet deal, bro!";

remove the jewel from play.;

remove the rusty sword from play.;

now the player is carrying the magic sword.;

otherwise:

say "I can't work with that crap. Bring it back to me when it's clean, yo.";

otherwise:

say "What jewel?";

[glaive]

The glaive is a thing.

The description of the glaive is "A legendary, metal-like weapon with 5 protruding sides, like a curved star of some sort.[line break]It looks like there's an inscription on the center shaft thing."

The inscription is a thing. The inscription is part of the glaive.

The description of the inscription is "Enscribed on the back of the glaive is 'Copyright Glaiva Glaive Industries, LLC 1984. Made in China.'"

Understand "center" or "shaft" or "thing" as the inscription.

Glaiving is an action applying to one visible thing.

Understand "throw glaive at [something]" as glaiving.

Instead of glaiving something:

if the player carries the glaive:

say "You can't glaive that.";

otherwise:

say "Dude, you don't have the glaive yet, stop meta-gaming.";

Instead of glaiving Bishop Rhokkin:

if the player carries the glaive:

say "Dude...no. Just no.";

otherwise:

say "Dude...no, you don't even have the glaive yet. Go get it.";

Instead of glaiving Dingus Deebag:

If the player carries the glaive:

say "You grab the glaive and thrust it with all your manliness toward Dingus Deebag's stupid, ugly face.";

remove Dingus Deebag from play.;

now the Helm of Awesome +5 is in Mount Badass.;

otherwise:

say "No way bro. You're not carrying a glaive, or even a glaive-like item.";

[helm]

The Helm of Awesome +5 is a thing. The Helm of Awesome +5 is wearable.

The description of the Helm of Awesome +5 is "Damn, that's an awesome helm!"

Instead of taking the Helm of Awesome +5:

say "You pick up the helm and feel mighty beyond mere words, but more in terms of manly grunts and gestures.";

end the story finally.;

[well]

The well is a thing. The well is not portable. The well is in Rad Town.

[holy water]

The holy water is a thing. The holy water is not portable.

Instead of attacking yourself:

say "You punch yourself in the head a few times, slowly tiring of self-inflicted task.";

[crazy box]

The crazy box is a locked, openable, container. The carrying capacity of the crazy box is 1.

The description of the crazy box is "You give the box a light shake and can hear a small, solid object roll around in it."

Instead of giving the crazy box to Rhokkin:

say "You hand over the box to Rhokkin. He looks it over and goes in the back room. About 5 minutes later, he comes out and returns the box to you, opened. 'Here you are my dude-child.'";

now the crazy box is unlocked.;

[dirty egg]

The dirty egg is a thing.

The description of the dirty egg is "A strange looking egg, caked in dirt."

The dirty egg is in the crazy box.

[oldman's robe]

Mayor Oldman wears a robe.

The description of the robe is "An old, burgandy robe, bleached and washed out from the years of use. It was probably deep red at one time, maybe hundreds of years ago, you can't tell how old it could be based on the age of the fossil-man wearing it."

Instead of examining the robe for the first time:

if the printed name of Mayor Oldman is "an old man":

say "The old dude gives you the stink eye and then starts coughing. After his fit of nasty hacking and wheezing subsides, he speaks, 'Greetings young adventurer. Welcome to my fair town of Olstead. I am Mayor Oldman.[line break]Please have a look around. There's not much to do here, but some of the townsfolk may need some assistance. I wish you well in your quest to defeat the evil Dingus Deebag. Godessspeed.'";

now the printed name of Mayor Oldman is "Mayor Oldman".;

otherwise:

continue the action.;